The Path Toward Blissful Ignorance (You Don’t Wanna Know)

Why Ignorance Might Just Be Your Best Friend

We’ve been told since kindergarten that ignorance is a bad thing—like some kind of brain boogeyman waiting to mess up our lives. But let’s be real: thinking is hard. So, if life feels like a never-ending obstacle course of complicated thoughts and scary truths, why not take the scenic route? That’s right, embrace ignorance. It’s easy, it’s comforting, and hey, who needs reality anyway?

Step 1: Denial—Your New Bestie

You’ve heard the saying, "Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt," right? Well, make it your lifestyle. Convince yourself you’re never wrong, and anyone who says otherwise? Clearly, they’re just jealous of your superior intellect. If this sounds suspiciously like what everyone does, don’t think too hard about it—thinking is the enemy here.

Step 2: Keep That Mind on Lockdown

Open-mindedness sounds nice until someone challenges your worldview, and suddenly, your brain feels like it’s buffering. Avoid that mess by keeping your mind tightly closed—no new ideas, no uncomfortable truths, and definitely no personal growth. Growth is for trees, not you.

Step 3: Lean Into Stereotypes

Why bother learning about people when you can just assume? Stereotypes are the fast food of understanding: cheap, easy, and bad for you, but oh-so-convenient. See someone different? Slap on a label, call it a day, and move on. No need for pesky conversations or empathy.

Step 4: Science Is Overrated

Scientists are always waving around “facts” and “studies” like they’re party tricks. Boring. Far better to believe the world is literally on fire—or maybe powered by ancient wizardry. After all, isn’t it more fun to think your phone runs on magic than boring old electricity?

Step 5: Books Are Dangerous

Books? Overrated. They make you think, and thinking is exactly what we’re avoiding here. Fiction? Made-up nonsense. Science? Clearly propaganda. The only “literature” worth your time is whatever confirms what you already believe. Anything else is a threat to your bubble of blissful ignorance.

Step 6: Confirmation Bias—Your Ignorance BFF

When you accidentally encounter new information, immediately ask yourself: “Does this support my beliefs?” If the answer is no, toss it out faster than last week’s leftovers. And if someone on the internet tries to debate you? Hit them with a quick “lol, you’re dumb” and keep scrolling. You’ve got better things to do than engage in reasoned arguments—like staying ignorant.

Step 7: Evil Is Always Simple

Why bother with nuance when you can just assume the worst? That politician you hate? Definitely plotting world destruction for fun. Wars? Just evil people being evil, end of story. Forget about understanding motivations or context—it’s much easier to pretend the world is black and white.

Final Thoughts: Blissfully Unaware

There you have it: the ultimate guide to staying cozy in your bubble of ignorance. Sure, some people might say ignorance is like bad breath—you don’t notice it, but everyone around you suffers. But hey, that’s their problem, not yours. Stick to these tips, and you’ll be the happiest clueless person around. And isn’t that what really matters?

Enjoy your blissful ignorance—no thoughts, no worries, no problem.